Doggie Saga

Here is one of my many dog stories. I can’t really call them fond memories……

We always have outside dogs. The biggest reason is me. I am too lazy to clean up after dogs. The hair, the pee, poop and vomit are way too much for me. And you all know how volatile I can be. I don’t like myself, so I choose not to have dogs.

So one day, I am feeling bad about it and thinking that with no kids, what is wrong with me? I can handle a dog now. So I say to Hal, when he is bringing home a new puppy, “Let’s try it in the house”. It ends up going pretty good. It is a German Wirehair, a medium sized dog with short hair. At night, when Hal is at work I let it sleep on the floor by my bed. The bedroom door is closed. Wonderful company. Hal though, gets home at 6AM and when he opens the front door, the dog begins to bark. I tell the dog to shush, but of course Hal hears the dog and is so proud he has a protective dog, he decides to test him out. So he scratches on the wall all the way down the steps. The dog starts to really bark. I am yelling, “Stop it!” Hal scratches on the door of the bedroom. The dog starts to REALLY bark, and jump around. I am yelling, “Stop it, stop it!!” Hal starts doing a low growl, and now the dog is insane. Now it is on my bed jumping and barking. I am SCREAMING, STOP IT!!! Now Hal is really excited and having SO much fun, the dog is REALLY JUMPING and REALLY BARKING. Now the dog is jumping and barking on my head and I am getting WET. It is peeing and jumping and peeing and jumping ON MY HEAD and barking, barking and I am screaming mad, and Hal will not stop.
I think I will quit the story here, you get the picture. That day the dog went back outside. No more dogs in the house….., that is until….,to be continued.